May 2013
18 posts
To all my friends and acquaintances:
God put every single person in my life for a purpose. That means that everyone that I know now is important, has worth, has value, is loved and needed (not that everyone else that I don’t know doesn’t). Don’t think less of yourself, because God put all of you in my life because I need you. For what I need you for, I have absolutely no idea, but I know that I need you desperately...
The past three weeks: I got a painful sunburn and peeled for the first week, had a wonderful allergic reaction that resulted in a red, swollen face for the second week, and now I’m ushering the third week with the flu that makes your body so achy and a cold that makes me cough something disgusting..
But within those three weeks, I had good, restful nights of sleep, surrounded by caring...
You all rock.
“Grace is wild. Grace unsettles everything. Grace overflows the banks. Grace...”
– Doug Wilson (via yesdarlingido)
Jeff.
I’ve been waiting to be unhinged from you for so long, and I think I’ve finally come to that point. I don’t frustrate myself over thoughts of you, I don’t go crazy over thinking too much, and I’m not dwelling on you anymore. You’ve taught me a valuable lesson, and I’m so thankful for that. But my infatuation with you is done. God has taught me all the...
Tonight was a testament to how NOT to take responsibility. I did it again, and it’s frustrating me.
I need to learn how to take proper responsibility of others. It’s constantly reminding myself that I am living not for the benefit of myself, but for the service and love of others and God above myself. Take that stupid, selfish, self-pity party away and use that hour and half to love...
let's think.
These past couple days have been so…odd. I’ve realized so many things in my mind and in my heart, but there’s also a distance, where I still struggle to come to terms with it and own those things that God has put on my heart.
He is my emancipator. It hasn’t been more clear than now that I need Him to release me from the bars that hold me captive. Forgiveness is not simply...
“Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did...”
– 2 Corinthians 7:8-11
My Racist Encounter at the White House... →
I don’t need you to “tolerate” me. I don’t want you to merely put up with my presence. All I ask, all I have ever asked, is to be treated as a human being, that bigoted jingoism is not injected into every minute facet my life, that there remains at least the illusion of decency.
The sun is shining, Gabby is coming, I’m being super productive. Despite the fact my face is burning from an accumulation of little sunburns, it’s going to be a good day. Amen.
The first time worship was difficult in the worst way possible. I felt absolutely nothing joyful, and everything painful.
What is going on? I can’t see You.
April 2013
23 posts
Starfield - can I stay here forever?
Through forgotten convictions, misplaced affections, I’m losing the sound of Your voice. I’ve been chasing after emptiness, trying to tidy up this mess. I swear I’ve been down this road before. I want to get back to where it all began, when I would long for only You.
Like a child I’ll take You at Your word as these mountains of doubt, they fade away. I’m longing to...
Round 2.
That terrible feeling you get when you know you lost your cool when you told yourself a million time it would never happen because it made you so petty and small and useless and childish and dirty inside. I felt backed into a corner, and I became some horrible mindless idiot.
ilostilostilost. And I can’t take it back, and I’m so mad at myself for that.
I dropped my backpack on the floor in the bathroom, and now my laptop has a gaping hole.
So pissed at myself. Why am I so clumsy? UGH.
“I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back.”
– Phillips Brooks (via yesdarlingido)
The Swift couldn't say it any better.
My heart is restless in me, my wings are all worn out. I’m walking in the wilderness, and I cannot get out. I need you, oh, I need you; to you my soul shall fly. I need you, oh, I need you, fill the every longing of my soul.
Oh, how I need you, Lord. I need your perfect word. With tearful eyes I see the sin that I afford. I need to weep and pray for all the thousand ways that I have failed...
Why Dove's "Real Beauty Sketches" Video Makes Me...
jazzylittledrops:
So this video started going around my facebook today, with about a dozen of my female friends sharing the link with comments like, and “Everyone needs to see this”, and “All girls should watch this,” and “This made me cry.” And I’m not trying to shame those girls! I definitely understand why they would do so. And I don’t want to be a killjoy. But as I clicked the link and...
I don’t know what went over me. But now I have a lunch meetup with Sophia tomorrow.
Maybe this is the cross that God is asking me to pick up now.
“For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose...”
– 2 Corinthians 16:9.
“Discipline. In the Christian context, discipline is making a wise choice and...”
– Unka Glen: Jesus said, I’ll sum it up for you: love
I think today’s reminded me that God’s goodness is limitless, not bounded by what I do but rather bounded to His love.
Coming together to celebrate the family baby’s 18th birthday hit me hard; I never actually cared enough before to make the minutes count, but I guess since “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” I’ve learned grace, patience, and thankfulness...
Sixteen HK STM people coming to Portland? Now I can’t help but wonder if I AM going to have to pick people up from the airport…
I’m getting a sick feeling in my stomach. I might barf butterflies. Or something stupid.
Whywhywhy, God. I thought I was done with that chapter in my life. Whywhywhy, God, I thought I had learned all my lessons. Whywhywhy, God, I just want to move on...
Mentally active and present, outwardly passive. And not to mention emotionally insecure and impulsive. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to lose control that I don’t like to be emotionally vulnerable and reveal all my thoughts, that I become passive and lazy.
I remember hearing how a disconnect between your inner self and your outward self is unhealthy, makes you a liar of sorts....
“This is all I know:
I’ll never apologize
for loving too much.”
– Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson
“Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in...”
– Tim Keller (via yesdarlingido)
I’m annoyed.
March 2013
29 posts
Been thinking most of two things this whole winter break.
First, I don’t understand alot of things, and I have to learn that it’s fine. I think I’ve been confused about many things, and I’ve been frustrated with alot of people lately. Whether they know or not is a completely different issue, but just seeing how things are panning out, I’m getting annoyed. I’m...
brokenpenmanship:
underthecarolinamoon:
...
Got my grades back,and I will tell you it was worth all those painful nights of staying up, all those days dying at the library, and all those occasional late-night sobs.
One of the best parts: my hardest class was my highest grade.
Another one of the best parts: I’m in the Jackson School of International Studies.
The Best Part: God was with me during the grueling process, He’s...
“Oh, it’s not blunt-force trauma, ma’am, that’s the honey-glow in my cheeks!”
“She gives me the honey-glow something awful…”
D’awwww, I’m such a sucker. Fix-It Felix is so cute.
So. I guess closure is coming a lot sooner than expected. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But it isn’t really a good thing either.
Big Dan said “We’re coming, it’s confirmed!” But who’s “we”?
Maybe I’m just afraid that all my ideas are going to be smashed to pieces (or at least squished at a painfully slow pace). Or maybe...
Struck up a conversation with a lady who teaches ay Seattle Central. Worst decision today.
What gives you the right to criticize what I’m studying? It’s my choice, and it’s in my power to make something happen with the knowledge that I have. What qualifies you to tell me that what I know is useless and jobless? You’re a stranger, for freaking sakes, don’t judge me on...
